I was always in denial that my relationship with my parents is beyond repair. Up until last night that is. I dont WANT to hate them, and i dont. I'm just wondering what is making it so hard for them to actually LISTEN, and understand.
I dont think it's that hard. Im not gonna go into detail about what happened, but what i can say is that i swore at my dad, and they think that im addicted to the internet. Plus, my mom thinks that i do not regret my actions. Do you really think that im trying to be a pain in the ass for you two?
I AM sorry for swearing and everything else.
But WHY do you two have to be so stubborn and not TRY to listen or understand? The internet is a form of stress release for me. I DO NOT resort to alcohol, drugs or ciggarettes. It's only the internet. And im not even looking for porn as a get away from all that i've read about the Renaissance Age. I'm only going to chat a bit with friends, and download the first 3 seasons of house. (it's my therapy )
Im just praying that my parents will give me 5 minutes to listen, and to understand fully what i've been trying to say all this while. It'll be impossible since ive been trying to do that years ago, and everytime i do it somehow comes out as a form of threaten or whatever to them.
Dont get me wrong, i appreciate them, TRY to respect them. Try because i know i've been really assy and been shouting at them, totally NOT respectful. The only reason im doing that is because i am still trying to get them to understand. They just WONT listen!!
I dont want to go to hell for being an anak derhaka. Seriously. I love them. It's hard, you know?
It's SPM, i know. you guys just want me to study hard and excell. i know that. But i'm not a robot. I'm not Samantha, Morgan or whoever can pay attention to their books for more than 3 hours at a time.
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On a lighter note. I think i have a crush. =o
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